|you should probably just skip the first six 'paragraphs'
||[Jul. 14th, 2010|04:50 am]
kazi, ms jackson if ya nasty
I wrote some sad crap, but ended up deleting it. By writing it all out, I got my thoughts out and understood them. I don't need to subject you all to working things through with me. Basically, I am in the midst of a (short-term, six-weekish) lapse in my lexapro. I am still on a good sized dose of wellbutrin, so I am not completely without. Nor did I cease abruptly; I stepped the dose down over several weeks. It's okay except for brain zaps and nightly depressions. Part of my freak-out was also inspired by the realization that I have been on SSRIs for over ten years. |
On a different note: I am so freaking excited to live alone. I'm positive that it'll get lonely sometimes (especially since almost nobody will be left in boulder), but it'll be awesome to be able to cook in the middle of night, etc. I'm mostly excited about the nighttime stuff. i'm out of this place on the 26th, but won't be in my new place until mid-august - I can't move in until the 6th, but I will be out of town then for a while. So I'm living outta a suitcase for a bit.
I just figured out that (I think) I am 6 classes of A's out from meeting my GPA requirement. Why can't I just get retroactive disability? C'mon, I could just go in, show them my journals since I've started college... Once they are utterly dumbfounded by my melancholy, I'll just ask for my diploma. This should work, right? (p.s. the gpa req is all i have left....all i've had left for a bit)
oh, and music has been bitchin' recently. i've been lovin' the radio (i am a radio charmer; I can make it play the best songs), as well as Matson Jones, Deftones, Crystal Castles, Ninjasonik, Okkervil River and Die Antwoord. Die Antwoord is really interesting. They're from South Africa and do "Zef Afrikaans rap rave." zef is basically South Africa's version of what Americans call white trash or Brits call chavs. Hipsters around the world have adopted ironic dress and hair - to the point that such things are actually fashionable now. Five years ago, i'd see someone wearing a BITCHIN'LY tacky thing and i would just think it was funny. Now, I actually see it and find it stylish in an attractive way. Fashion is weird. anyway, check these guys out. And, yes, they are characters. At least partially. I don't think anything Ninja says in this video is true...but you be the judge.